Not your average Loser next door
by Joe Pollin
Summary: Washu finally gets an annoying kid she has to take care of. While she's trying to destroy Duo in the process. This story contains slapstick violence, some foul language, and mature themes.


Not you average loser next door

**Not your average loser next door  
  
By  
[Joe P.][1]**

The Masaki's had a baby sitting service. Unfortunately, they were closed on the weekends. Or in other words they were taking a break. However, a family brought in the oddest looking kid you'd ever seen into them. Did I mention they brought this kid in on a weekend? They must really want to get him off their shoulders! And So, our story begins....

Aeka: We're not taking care of him! Can't you read? If you can, you would obviously know that we don't take care of kids on weekends!

Mr. Ferguson: You don't how much trouble he is! Look, I'll pay you 10 yen!

Ryoko: How cheap are you anyway?

Mrs. Ferguson: You don't know how much he eats. We should have gave him away in the first place.

Mr. Ferguson: Yes, I agree.

Tenchi: Uhh... Guys? Maybe Little Washu can take care of him! After all she does nothing to help us out...

Ryoko: Just builds dumb machines trying to get rid of Duo.

Odd boy: DUO! did u say duo???

Ryoko: No, I said the sky is falling. What the hell do you think I said?

Odd boy: duo is my hero and so is joe. 

Ryoko: Yeah whatever.. 

Mr. Ferguson: We don't how we can thank you! So tell Washu that she can KEEP our former son! Okay?

Tenchi: Yes, I'll do that!

Aeka: I'll show you to Ms. Washu's lab you'll be sleeping with her from now on.

Odd boy: yuck. i want to sleep with joe.

Aeka: ...

Meanwhile at Washu's lab.

Washu: HA HA HA!!! It's fantastic!

Washu puppet A: Washu, you're the greatest!

Washu puppet B: Washu, you'll kill Duo, for sure!

Washu puppets: WASHU WASHU! 

Washu: That's right! he won't stand a chance against my Bubble Double Trouble Duo Destroyer!

Aeka: Ms. Washu someone is here to see you.

Washu: Oh boy is it another fan?!

Aeka: No it's actually someone you're going to have to take care of.

Washu: WHAT?! 

At tea time.

Washu: Nah ah! No way! I'm NOT taking care of this... thing!

Tenchi: Little Washu, you do nothing to help us. You stay stuck in that lab building machines to destroy Duo. And when you are near us, you bitch and demand that things go your way.

Washu: Whatever! Washu, the Greatest Scientific Genius, is NOT taking care of this mutant!

Aeka: Well you have no other choice.

Washu: Damn you Duo! I'll get you for this!

Ryoko: You idiot! It's not Duo that brought him here! It was his parents!

Mihoshi: Ahh guys.. We don't know his name!

Washu: And who cares what the fuck his name is..

Aeka: Oh how rude of us! What's your name little one?

Odd boy: my name is craig ferguson. i llllooooovvvvvve joe and someday im gonna marry him.

Aeka: I see.. Who is this Joe you're talking about?

Washu: Probably some friend fo Duo's!

Craig: he is! joe is my bestestestest friend in the world! he loves me!

Washu: Oh great the kid loves Duo...

Meanwhile at the Gundam Residence.

Quatre: WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Trowa: What's wrong Quatre? Did someone hurt you?

Quatre: No.. It's whine time! And in a few minutes, it's nap time!

Duo: Oh God...

Quatre: I take that back! I have to watch Barney in a few minutes!

They all moan and groan.

Quatre: What's wrong? Doesn't anyone like Barney? He's so happy and he sings "I love you" song. Barney loves everyone, like me!

Quatre Sings the Barney intro song.

Wufei: Injustice.. It's so humilating being with him.

Meanwhile at Sasukechan's house..

Sasukechan: HOORAY! We're having KFC tonight!

Mrs. Toskin: You're only limited to 1 piece.

Sasukechan: Wha..? WHY? You know I like to have 7 pieces!

Brigham: She's doing it cause you're too fat.

Mr. Toskin: Damn rights he is. Hey where's the beer?

Sasukechan: You know, you all treat me like shit..

Brigham: because you are!

Sasukechan: SHUT UP! lemme finish! As I was saying, I don't have to tolerate this any longer; I'm leaving! 

Mr. Toskin: You're taking your brother, too.

Sasukechan: But why?!

Mr. Toskin: We need him off our backs. He's too paranoid.

Brigham: Where are we going?

Sasukechan: To Washu's lab, of course...

They arrive there.

Aeka: Miss Washu, you have people here to see you.

Washu: Thank God! I can't wait to get this mutant off my case!

Sasukechan: Hi Washu! *gasps* What's that?

Brigham: It looks like a thing!

Washu: You idiot! It IS a thing!

Brigham: Oh..

Washu: Anyway, Sasukechan, I'm going to attack Duo again with my new invention: The Bubble Double Trouble Duo Destroyer!

Brigham: HA HA HA! What kind of a retarded name is that?

Washu: GRR... It's a fantastic name! Anything I make is..

Sasukechan: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!!

Craig: can i come to?

Washu: No, you idiot, you'll stay here out of my plans!

Craig: i really want to meet duo and joe, so i can sleep with them.

Washu: Okay. You can come!

Craig: col!

They arrive at the Gundam Residence with Washu's new machine.

Duo: Hey, Washu, so nice to see your old pruny face again! So, what shit did you bring to try and get rid of me?

Washu: ARRGHHH!! How dare you! This my new and improved machine: The Bubble Double Trouble Duo Destroyer!

Duo: HA HA HA! What kind of a retarded name is that?

Washu: I had enough of you!

Sasukechan: Duo, you should respect someone more intelligent than yourself!

Duo: Speak for yourself, lard ass.

Sasukechan: Wha..? You bastard! I was talking about me too!

Duo: Well, in your case, we'll rephrase that to "You should respect someone whose fatter than yourself."

Sasukechan: DAMN YOU!

Brigham: HA HA! He's really funny! I like him.

Craig: i loooooovvvvvve you duo!

Craig buries his head into Duo's crotch.

Duo: What the fuck?

He punches Craig off him.

Duo: Who the hell are you? Or WHAT the hell are you?

Craig: im craig ferguson. i love you duo. and i love joe.

He puckers his lips

Duo: Yuk! Washu is another one of your experiments?

Washu: Fortunately, it's not. Now begin Bubble Double Trouble Duo Destroyer!

It shot out bubbles. That popped two seconds after it came out.

Washu: What? It was supposed to work!!

Duo: Guess not..

He threw his lance at the Bubble Double Trouble Duo Destroyer. It blew up.

Washu: Damn you, Duo! I'll get you yet!

She teleports leaving Sasukechan, Brigham, and Craig behind.

Brigham: So much for that..

Sasukechan: Duo, why do continue to ruin our peaceful lives?

Duo: Whoa, there! It's YOU who come here and disturb us with your retarded machines!

Craig: oh duo your lines are awsome! your awesome! i lllllloooovvveee you! 

Craig rubs Duo's crotch softly.

Duo: Get the fuck off me, you FREAK!

Craig: wheres joe?

Washu came back.

Washu: He's in England. Say, Craig, you want me to teleport you there?

Craig: YES! i always wanted to meet joe so i could sleep with him!

She teleports him there.

In England.

Craig: WOW! im in joe country! wheres joe?

Craig goes to the tourist center

Craig: wheres joe?

Man: How the hell should I know? And what kind of alien are you anyway?

Washu, on purpose, teleports Duo, Sasukechan, and Brigham to England.

Brigham: AHHHHHHH! General Blair's around!!!

Sasukechan: He's dead, you moron!

Duo: It looks like we're in England..

Sasukechan: Hey, there's that Freak Washu brought along!

Duo: Craig, you're not supposed to ask people if they know a Joe, if you don't have a picture of him or his last name.

Craig: his last name will be ferguson soon. but his last name now is pollin.

Duo: Okay, let's go to that people search right there!

Duo asks the man: Where can we find a "Joe Pollin"?

The man gave an address.

Craig: im so happy! thanks guys!

Sasukechan: Anything to get rid of you.

They go to Joe's place and see him with friends on the front porch.

Craig: *gasps* i finally met joe! joe!

Sasukechan: Wait Craig! You can't just see him like this!

Craig: why not?

Sasukechan: I'll give you a make over. So Joe'll definatly fall for you.

After the make over, Craig's in a bridal gown. They return to Joe's Place.

Sasukechan: Now, Craig, go get him!

Craig: JOE! joe i want to get married!

Washu teleports to them.

Washu: HA HA HA! You all gave me the gift that's priceless! Craig is finally gone! So I'll return you all to your home worlds.

After Duo returns to his home world...

Duo: Not so fast, bitch!

He kicks her into the sun.

Washu: I'll get my revenge, you little bastard! Just you wait!!! Epilougue

Craig: joe lets go to bed!

Joe: AHH! It's a monster!

The others scream and run away too.

At the scientists lab.

Dr.J: I grabbed Duo's ass with my robot hand today!

Prof. G: I alomst gave Prince Quatre a blowjob! Mas. O: No way! Prince Quatre likes me!! 

Dr. S: You all know he likes me the best!

Ins. H: He loves me! I slept with him NAKED!

Quatre: Hi Guys!

They get too horny and all grope him at once!

Quatre: You meanies!! HELP ME, TROWA POO! SAVE ME!!!!!! EEEEK!!!! 

   [1]: mailto:joey_pollin@hotmail.com



End file.
